Too many times have I heard that the reason why a person makes fucked up decispasions is because of a past experience. I don’t give a damn what anyone say. Your past should not influence your present or your future in a negative manner, and sadly that is the problem of may people today.
One of my best friends is associated with quite a few people that I do not care for, for justifiable reasons. One of them are so immature that I do not have the patience to put up with her, not to mention, she has some messed up ways that she’s refuses to realize, accept, and grow from. The other one betrayed me, and one thing about me is that when you cross me, I highly doubt that i will ever trust you again, therefore there is no need for me and you to be in contact, and since we have graduated high school, it’s been going pretty good.
However, through the years I have noticed something about this friend. Both of the individuals that I am talking about, are full grown women, one of them has a child and has been married, the other one graduated college and is working, yet both of these women are the first ones to start shit, but when it comes down to dealing with the consequences, my friend has a very bad habit of babying them instead of letting them face their mistakes,and learn. With both individuals, I have had disagreements. And instead of telling both of us that we were wrong, she would only tell me, and yes, I told her that (1) it was not fair nor was it right and (2) she needs to stop sugarcoating shit and let them be grown ass women. Although she is not their mother, they obviously admire her and respect her. However, they admire and respect her because she tells them what they want to hear instead of the cold, hard truth, something that they are too weak to handle and something that they refuse to become stronger for. And yes it pisses me the fuck off.
One day, I brought up my view on these individuals, mainly the one who betrayed me. For the first time since me and this person parted ways, I expressed how hurt and betrayed I felt and how I didn’t understand why she had done what she done. The only “excuse” that my friend came up with, “She’s been hurt a lot in the past. A lot of people have abandoned her.” Excuse me??? Who hasn’t been hurt in the past?!? Who hasn’t been abondoned by someone that they loved?!?!? She isn’t the first and she damn sure won’t be the last! I have been hurt! I have been abandoned! But I didn’t let those mistakes from other people ruin my relationships with people in my present. As long as you didn;’t do anything to me that was unforgivable, I would stand right by your side, and whatever you went through, I’d be right there with you! I would not start trouble between two people, I would not lie on another person, I wouldn’t betray you even if you gave me a reason to! But that was her excuse or her so called reasoning of why these two females do what they do. Maybe she feels the need to baby them because I’m mentally and emotionally stronger. However, I was once fragile like them. I got mentally and emotionally stronger because my friends told me when I was wrong. I saw another person act the exact same way that I was acting, I saw the consequences, and realized that I didn’t want to deal with those consequences. I also realized that those consequences were avoidable. And within time I grew up. I look back now, and I realize how emotionally and mentally weak I was. We all have been at a mentally and emotionally weak point. But I look at myself now, and I see how much I have been through and how I overcame it. And I’m poroud of myself. I owe that to those who loved me enough to give me tough love, give me a wake up call.
Do I think that my friend is bad friend, absolutely not. Do I think that she has another wake up call coming her way, yes I do.
Men, if you ever meet a girl that keeps it real with you from minute one, APPRECIATE AND RESPECT her for it, because sadly not too many females with the honest trait rarely exist.
Now the point of this blog is to bring to attention the main mistake that men make. There are some men who have been hurt by other women, and you’re not being blamed for that because like us females, you have feelings as well. and I personally do not respect the type of females that have a good man but find some way to fuck it up. However, just as you hate it when we punish you for the last man’s mistake, we hate it when you punish us for the last woman’s mistake.
A lot can be revealed about a man through the type of woman that he pursues. So when a man chooses to make a hoodrat his wife, that tells you that he has no standards, he’s afraid of a challenge therefore he’ll settle for less because he’s too lazy and intimidated to find better. But when a man chooses a respectful woman to be his wife, he enjoys the challenge. He’s aware that there are plenty of women around him, but there is only one that can keep his attention. He’s attracted to not what is between her thighs, but the story in her eyes, the pureness of her heart, and the existence of her soul. He knows that any man can walk up to her and ask for her number, but he trusts her to know what she has at home.
So what baffles me is why so some of these men pursue the type of women that’s about drama and nonsense? Why when you meet a good woman, you lie to her to make yourself look good? The thing that we find most attractive about a man is his ability to be honest. That’s what we admire, Regardless if whether or not we get upset when you tell the truth, at the end of the day when we think back to it, we respect you more for it. That tells us that you can be trusted. As someone once told me, trust is earned, not given.
Which leads me into the nest subject. If you want to earn someone’s trust, WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU LIE TO THEM!?!?! You cannot expect to earn that person’s trust when you’re lying about the dumbest shit. If a woman is giving you the chance to be honest with her, why not take it? Why continue to lie to make yourself look good because at the end of the day, you’ll look even worse in that person’s eyes. Be reminded, not all women are hoodrats, not all women are bitches. There are some of us who are womb-worthy. There are some of us who are loyal. There are some of us who’ll love no matter what you have done in your past. But you have a tendency to fuck up what could be because you can’t be honest.
Just like some of us can be loyal and womb worthy, some of us realize our worth and can leave your ass quicker than we came to you. So before you allow a lie to leave your mouth, make sure that another good woman is within your reach, and consider whether or not you really want to let a good woman go. Just a word of advice to the men…..
A woman’s biggest problem could be that she cares absolutely too much for someone and that same person that she cares so much for could give a f*ck less about her. It’s sad, but true.
You would think that when you have someone, whether you’re just friends or in a relationship, you would appreciate them and cherish them. Yet, in your mind, they’re not going anywhere. You think that just because someone cares for you, he/she will continue to take your bullsh*t and you fail to realize that all people come to a point where they can give a f*ck less and just up and leave. Then you have the nerve to have an attitude because that person had the strength to get up and leave your ass.
One thing that I hate are people that are so full of themselves that they think that they can have anyone in the world. They claim that they prefer this type of woman, or this type of man, then you turn around and they done laid down and f*cked the lowest piece of sh*t on the damn earth. Then have the nerve to try to itch around and ask you who have you dealt with since you and him/her have parted ways. Where was all of this concern when you had me? Because I damn sure couldn’t see it!
There comes a point in time when you’re tired of getting your feelings hurt. People have a tendency to say one thing yet their actions don’t measure up to their words. And when you see this person, it’s nothing but answerless questions floating inside your head. Your only wish at that moment is for those questions to be answered.
I don’t believe in chasing anybody because I shouldn’t have to therefore I will not. I don’t kiss anyone’s ass because I don’t see anyone kissing mine, nor would I expect them to because I wouldn’t respect them for it. I respect people who have a backbone. I respect people who stand by their words and actions. I respect people who don’t bullsh*t me and I definitely respect people who respect me not only for the type of person that I am, but for the type of heart that I have.
Never in my life did I think that such immoralistic people existed.
There are too many diseases out here for people to just be rolling around in the bedroom with in and everybody. In my book, gender doesn’t even matter because an STD will be an STD regardless of who it infects.
But what I don’t understand about some people is how can you be a mother to children, especially to a teenager and spread your legs for in and everybody? I don’t understand that. When you become a parent, your reputation is no longer your reputation, it’s your children’s as well, because just as everything that your children do reflects on you, everything you do reflects on your children. And what really makes me laugh is how tough these so called “women” are over a social networking site, yet they see you in person, you can hear a rat pissing on a sidewalk, they’re so quiet.
How can you be over 21 years old, actually think that it’s cute and fun and smart to sleep with every guy that literally asks you to sleep with him? How can you think that it’s cute to not have a high school diploma at least? Some of these females actually think that it’s cute to sit on their ass all day and depend on public assistance to care for themselves and their children. Hate to break it to you dummies but that welfare check only go but so far. So when the first of the month comes around, instead of buying Prada jeans, Dolce & Gabbana, Vera Wang, all of the expensive clothing, maybe you should actually budget your money so that all of your bills are paid and make sure that your children are well taken care of. Get up off your ass, get your GED, and actually make an effort to better yourself not only for your kids but for yourself as well. Selling your body is not the way to go. You actually make it easy for these bums.
To the men, ya’ll not making it no better and you’re definitely losing credibility and respect from the loyal females that you so called wish you had. Word of advice, if you want a loyal female, a woman who’ll motivate you, push you to achieve the goals that you have set for yourself, she’ll hold you down with all she has, if you a woman like that, STOP MESSING WITH THESE HOES!! Not all p*ssy is good p*ssy, just because it looks nice and plump on the outside does not mean that it’s the cleanest. Then to top it off, you don’t even use protection! But you ready to cuss the female out and cause harm to her because she’s the one that gave it to you. But answer the question, who the fool that wanted the p*ssy so damn bad that he didn’t want to wear a condom? DING, DING, DING, oh wait that’s YOU! Just as us females have to keep in mind that just because a d*ck is big doesn’t mean it’s clean, you have to keep in mind the same concept with a female. Females are scandalous! I already know that you go after these hoes because their easy but you know what that says to the good women? That you’re not a man because you’re too afraid of a challenge. You just want to jump head first into the deepest end of the ocean without learning how to swim. Then when you’re drowning, that’s when you want to call on the good woman to save you but you cuss the hoe that put you there. Life doesn’t work that way. No sex is worth risking your life and well being. Be careful who you sleep with or you life can change in a way that you may not be able to handle.
The most common thing that I hear from both men and women concerning relationships is “I want a good woman” or “I want a good man.” So answer me this, why is it that when you have a good woman/man, you don’t appreciate him/her. I know men and women who’ve had good women/men and f*cked up in the worst possible ways. Then when it comes back and bites them in the ass, they try to place all the blame on the other person.
Oh, and let’s not forget how some people like to place all men and women in the same category.
NEWSFLASH!! Not all men are the same and not all women are the same. DO NOT categorize all men and women in the same group.
LADIES! Not all men are dogs. Not all men are after sex. There are some men who are very particular of the women they have sex with. There are some men who would rather hear about your day then hear and talk about how nice and fat another woman’s ass is. There are some men who would rather hold you and watch you sleep or take a nap with you then just strip your clothes off and just jump right into it. There are some men who would rather push you and support you in your goals and ambitions then to criticize you and talk down to you as if you are nothing. I’ve seen females who have good men, the type of man that I want for myself and these same females be out here hoeing around, cheating on their men, claiming that they love them and yet feel no remorse for what they do. Then they lose the man, want to cry and boo hoo and what not, they cursing the man, wondering why he left. Yet they don’t realize that it’s their actions! People have this mindframe that when you love someone, you have to put up with their bullshit. THAT IS FALSE! Because if that person really loved you, he/she would not do anything to hurt you. When we love someone, yes we tolerate them because anyone that has any common sense knows that a relationship is a give and take. You have to take the good with the bad. However, there comes that point in time when you have to draw that line. It’s up to you when you want to draw it.
MEN!!! Not all women are hoes, not all women are jumps and not all women are golddiggers. Some of us just want your time. Some of us just want your affection. Some of us just want to hear your voice. Some of us aren’t trying to use you. Some of us don’t jump from man to man. Some of us are not vindictive, sneaky or manipulative. Some of us would rather cook a nice, home cooked meal for you then go out and have you pay a high ass bill for the very same meals that we can cook. Some of us would rather be snuggled up with you on the couch then going out to a club. Some of us would rather support you when you’re down, and push you when you need to be pushed to accomplish your girls. Hell, even if you aren’t with us and we do things for you, we don’t bring it back up in your face because it came from our hearts, not to get brownie points. Just like I’m seeing women taking their good men for granted, I’m seeing the same things with the men! Forgive us for not being willing to take half naked pictures of ourselves and posting it on Facebook for attention. Forgive us for having standards because we know that we deserve better. Forgive us for wanting nothing from you but the truth. The same way that some of you want us to be truthful with you, we want the same in return. Everyone has their own definitions of what a perfect relationship is. But there is no perfect relationship. A relationship is the BEST relationship when both parties are 100% honest with each other.
Ladies, yes we want a man who will love and cherish us for who we are. BUT, we need to stop going after the assholes who would rather chase hoes but use us for what we can give them. Keep in mind that all men are not assholes. If a man asks you out on a date and you have an amazing chemistry, why not accept it? Take a chance. You never know what type of man you may be blessed with.
Men, you guys want a woman that loves and appreciates you right? Well I’m going to keep it real with you. Stop chasing these hoes and fast ass little girls because they’re easy. Actually challenge yourself and be willing to wait. Be willing to get to know a female intellectually and learn about her just as she would want to learn about you. Most men that I know what to have kids. The challenge that you could possibly be afraid of could be the mother of your future children and your future wife.
It seems like everyday when I read the news, someone is shot and/or someone is killed. No, it IS everyday that someone is shot and/or killed. And honestly I’m getting tired of it. I have three siblings coming up after me. Whenever I read these news stories, the ages of black youth are getting younger and younger and it’s saddening. Either the victims are innocent bystanders, they were shot/killed purposely over something stupid, or they are in that type of lifestyle. People are getting killed for money, over females/males that aren’t about sh*t, hell, people are getting killed just for standing their ground. It’s getting ridiculous. It needs to stop. This isn’t the 1930’s or 40’s and so one anymore. THIS IS 2012!! We already have enough ignorance with racism. Why continue the ignorance with blacks killing blacks. I’m not making it a race issue, just stating facts. How many times do you read or hear about a white person killing another white person over money or drugs or a significant other? How often do you read about other races/ethnicities killing each other? You hear it, but it’s rare. I’m not saying that violence doesn’t happen within other races because it does. You’d be surprised at the statistics. But speaking as a young African American woman, one who has faced some of life’s obstacles, one who has been looked down upon just for being black, I’m tired of violence happening in my race. We’ve been the victim for too long. It’s time for us to get over being the victim and start doing better for ourselves. It all starts within you.